Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
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During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
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Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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