I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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