Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You dont lie about slip and slides
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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