For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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