if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize