I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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