Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.

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  (815) Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off? (1-815) You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it. http://tfl.nu/du1d
  Replies (16) Good night (1360) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.

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  (480): WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE. http://tfl.nu/0o9o
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (1766) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i wish starbucks made bloody marys

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  (314): i wish starbucks made bloody marys http://tfl.nu/p9ip
  Replies (21) Good night (3856) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in

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  (514): Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in http://tfl.nu/gix0
  Replies (30) Good night (11420) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  What will that accomplish?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.

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  (602): We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on. (480): What will that accomplish? (602): It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on. http://tfl.nu/n4ns
  Replies (23) Good night (8008) Bad night (1366)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  She bit a glass in half.

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  (250): She bit a glass in half. http://tfl.nu/3ugo
  Replies (11) Good night (1227) Bad night (3296) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.

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  (760): I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window. http://tfl.nu/drwy
  Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (2089) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.

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  (702): I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared. http://tfl.nu/11u7
  Replies (4) Good night (2913) Bad night (1340) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?

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  (231): who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets? http://tfl.nu/3xr9
  Replies (5) Good night (1696) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I have surprise drugs for everyone

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  (404): I have surprise drugs for everyone http://tfl.nu/7gjj
  Replies (11) Good night (2667) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.

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  (352): Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american. http://tfl.nu/kvmq
  Replies (11) Good night (1745) Bad night (699)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D

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  (616): I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D http://tfl.nu/kf4w
  Replies (8) Good night (2424) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.

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  (434): This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened. http://tfl.nu/f3s1
  Replies (4) Good night (2165) Bad night (1068) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...

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  (202): Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395... http://tfl.nu/2tco
  Replies (4) Good night (466) Bad night (1457) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.

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  (979): Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties. http://tfl.nu/dl3v
  Replies (11) Good night (1709) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt

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