He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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