Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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