Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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