Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
