I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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