I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
A+ Viking dick
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
