Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
