Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize