There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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