I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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