Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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