Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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