so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
