i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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