I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
