If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
