He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
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I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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