I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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