just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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