oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If that was your dad, he is hot
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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