Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
