i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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