Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
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I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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