after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
His nipple licking is glorious
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