drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
