He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
3pm strippers are depressing
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
