imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
tonight lets celebrate not being married
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
