I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
