i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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