i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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