I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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