saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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