hotel room ftw
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
