4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
