This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
