im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i will never coherently bang her
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
