New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
