Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
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I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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