The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
