Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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