I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
