i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
operation have a gay friend backfired
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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