Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize