I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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