if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woke up backwards on a recliner
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
