You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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