if i can run in heels then i can drive
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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