Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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