you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
