cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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