Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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