I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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